Happy Birth Day Lillie

Happy Birth Day Lillian

Saturday, July 25th I spent with Charlotte and little did I realize it would be our last day of just the two of us together for probably quite some time! The day was a cool June day with beautiful sunshine and clear blue skies. John and I had spent the night at my folks on Friday because the day before I had an unexpected appointment with Louise, my midwife, to look at a rash I had developed (nothing to worry about Louise reassured me!) Mom and Dad wanted to launch their new boat, Miss Piggy, and invited John to join. After a family breakfast, we drove with mom and dad to the pier and watched as they rigged and set sail. Little did I know, the morning of sailing would be a five hour event due to the lack of wind (my folks have a 6 person sail boat without a motor). Charlotte and I went to the beach, met my Nina and enjoyed a wonderful lunch and some great time playing in the sand. The weather was perfect for an almost 39 week pregnant momma – just cool enough but still sunny. Charlotte and I capped off our afternoon with a nap and some playtime with Thomas the train at mom and dad’s.

After arriving home close to dinner, John and I decided to spend another night and had grand plans to go to the beach the next day! Since my hospital and post-delivery bags were already in the car (and had been since 35 weeks) we felt more than comfortable not spending the night at home. I put Charlotte to bed around 8pm snuggling with her until she peacefully fell asleep and then curled up on the couch to watch a movie with Mom and John. At 10:20 p.m. right as the movie was ending, I felt a trickled down my leg and quietly made my way to the bathroom to see what was going on (mom and John clueless!) I went into the bathroom and that is when I realized my water broke, which was not a surprise since this seems to be my protocol for how I go into labor. I came down stairs to hear mom and john calling me back to see the end of the movie. I walked into the sunroom and declared that my water broke. John and mom were so excited! Mom ran to get me some bath towels and John started to get the bags ready. I wasn’t having any contractions at this point but decided to call Louise. While on the phone with her, I had a massive gush of water soaking my pjs and towel I was standing on. Louise said to try and get rest and see if the contractions would start overnight. I was so excited that I couldn’t image going to sleep so mom put towels on the couch and she and John stayed awake with me watching TV for a while. Mom and I talked about her birth experience with my sister and I. It was such a wonderful, relaxing time. Being at my home where I grew up, was such a special place for me to begin my labor.

Eventually, we all tried to get some sleep. Around midnight, the contractions started. Louise mentioned that since my water broke, my contractions would most likely be stronger because I didn’t have my bag of waters intact to buffer them. She was right. The contraction stated off really strong. John was able to get a few hours, but I couldn’t sleep at all. The night before, I only had a few hours of sleep and I knew that I should try to get some rest for the long night of labor ahead. I closed my eyes and focused on the beach, a place of serenity and peace. I visualized my afternoon with Charlotte and thought of the contractions as waves washing over my huge belly. At 2:30 a.m. I woke up John with contractions that were increasingly stronger and closer together. We called Louise, packed our bags and headed to Tobey hospital, 15 minutes away. Upon arrival, we were placed in one of the labor rooms, Louise started to fill the soaking tub and I was hooked up to a monitor for about a half hour to check how Lillian was responding to the contractions. I was checked to see how much progress I made and to make sure I was starting to dilate. When Louise said I was 4 cm dilated John and I were ecstatic! I moved into the tub where I spent about two hours on and off. Louise came in about every half hour with a transportable Doppler to check Lillian’s heart beat. The rest of the time, I was alone with John, which was exactly how we wanted it. The room was softly lit, we had our Baby Carr labor music mix playing Simon and Garfunkel, Cold Play and Ray LaMontagne in the background and the jets in the tub providing soothing comfort to my increasingly strong contractions. Upon each contraction I grabbed John’s hand, closed my eyes, pictured the beach, the waves and sea breeze through the peak of the contraction. John put cold compresses on my forehead and neck and kept me hydrated with ice chips and water. During active labor, I vomited totally unexpectedly and came out of the tub briefly so it could be cleaned. I clung to John through the contractions as he rubbed my back and provided unconditional support and strength before I headed back in the tub. In between the surges, we’d talk, laugh and smile, which provided the perfect distraction. Louise would join us and provide calming words and once a while a massage. John’s touch during active labor was the exact distraction I needed to get through each contraction.

Around 5 am, I had an urge to get out of the tub and change positions for a while. I made my way to the bed and clung to John as the contractions started to come one right after the other with almost no break in between. I swayed back and forth over the edge of the bed with John’s support. With each surge, I focused on baby girl descending and my cervix opening. I was in transition and not realizing that in a short while I’d be pushing. At one point, I did feel this “out of body” moment as each surge came right after the other. I was in the final stretch of my “birth marathon” and I was hitting the “wall” I knew I needed to power through and John provided the much needed words of encouragement and physical support to get me past the excruciating pain!.

After about 20 minutes, Louise came to check me again and with joy she announced I was ready to push. It was almost 6 am and I had been in labor for almost 8 hours. I tried to push lying on my side in the bed and after one push, I realized I needed to had a position that would allow gravity to help bring baby girl into this world. We decided to use the birth chair, I small stool with a hole in the center. John sat behind me holding me up and provided the back and arm support. Pushing was one of the most physically demanding things I’ve ever done. Pushing our baby girl was much more difficult than any marathon I’ve ever run. This was the final stretch; the moment that I’d spent almost 39 weeks preparing for. I used every muscle in my body and with each contraction pushed as hard as I could with John literally supporting my entire upper body. In between the contractions, I’d take a break, breathing slowing trying not to focus on the unbelievable pressure of baby girl’s head ready to emerge. At 6:24 a.m. after a half hour of pushing baby girl arrived! She was beautiful. I started to cry a little when I held her for the first time something I never was able to do with Charlotte. She made a little cry and then Louise placed her immediately on my chest and we waited for the umbilical cord to stop pulsing before cutting it. John cut the cord and we moved to the bed to deliver the placenta and let baby girl begin nursing. Immediately she brought her long little fingers to her nose and started rooting around for my breast. I asked Amy, our nurse, why she smelled her hand and she said that her hand smell like amniotic fluid and right after birth my breasts secrete the same smell. Lillian was using the smell on her hands to direct her to the food source. Lillian was a natural at breastfeeding and did so immediately. I was truly amazed. This time I had no tearing, which was a blessing. After nursing for 45 minutes she was weighed in at 6lbs 10.5oz and 19 inches long. I nursed and cuddled Lillie for an hour before moving into our recovery room. Mom and Dad arrived with Charlotte shortly after 9:30 a.m. to meet Lillie. I made sure that John held Lillie when Charlotte first came into our room. Mom lifted her onto my bed and we cuddled for a while before she asked to hold Lillie. I was so overwhelmed to have both girls in my arms. As I looked down at Charlotte, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of sadness for how her difficult her birth and weeks after were for us and at the same time I was so relieved that Lillian’s birth was more than I could have hoped for.

Charlotte’s birth taught me the true meaning of patience and Lillian’s gave me the confidence that I can carry babies to term and deliver them naturally and unmedicated into this world. Through Charlotte’s birth I realized that when you stop and listen to your body you could make the right decisions and choices during pregnancy, which is a lesson I carried through my pregnancy with Lillie. I have two beautiful girls and two dramatically different birth stories. Holding Lillie and Charlotte during the first day, I felt an overwhelming sense of relief that nurses and schedules did not dictate my time with Lillie. Having the birth experience with Charlotte has made me truly grateful for Lillie’s natural birth experience.